Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness are some of the most profound I’ve ever read. Many Bibles have translated one particular quote from him in ways that many misunderstand.
“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” Matthew 5:23-24 NASB
But what does the phrase, “your brother has something against you,” mean? Does it mean that anyone can make any charge against you, even if it is frivolous, and keep you from worshiping? If that were the case, did Jesus himself go and reconcile with the Jewish leaders who falsely accused him of wrongdoing? They had something against Jesus, something so serious that they decided to kill Jesus to keep him from ruining the nation and destroying the established religious and civic order.
The Amplified Bible translates that passage in a way that throws some light in what Jesus likely meant:
“So if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and while there you remember that your brother has something [such as a grievance or legitimate complaint] against you,” Matthew 5:23 Amp.
There is a sense here that the “something” they have against you is a legitimate complaint or grievance, a bonafide injury that you have caused them.
John Gill’s Exposition interprets the passage as follows:
Therefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar,… The Jews obliged such who had done any damage to their neighbors, by stealing from them, to make satisfaction before they brought their offering; concerning which they say (c), “he that brings what he has stolen, before he brings his trespass offering, is right; he that brings his trespass offering, before he brings that which he has stolen, is not right.”
Again (d), “they do not bring the trespass offering before the sum of what is stolen is returned, either to the owners or to the priests.”
Some have thought Christ refers to this; only what they restrained to pecuniary damages, he extends to all sorts of offenses. But not a trespass offering, but a freewill offering, seems to be designed by “the gift”: which, when a man either intended to bring, or was going to bring, or had already brought, as a voluntary sacrifice to be offered unto God; and it came into his mind, that he had offended any man by showing any undue passion, or by any reproachful words, then he was to do what is advised in the following verse: “and there”, whilst going, or when at the altar,
rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee: hath anything to charge thee with; any just ground of complaint against thee; if thou hast done him any injury, or given him any offense: particularly, if he had at any time said Raca to him, or called him “fool” for those words have reference to what goes before, and are a corollary, or conclusion from them, as appears from the causal particle “therefore”.
(c) Misn. Bava Kama, c. 9. sect. 12. (d) Maimon. Hilch. Gezela, c. 8. sect. 13.
A common misinterpretation of this verse is to say that one must leave their gift at the altar and go seek after brothers who feel offended for nothing wrong that has been done to them. For example, as the Pharisees and teachers of the law were offended by Jesus. Jesus said some very harsh things about them, that were nonetheless true. And Jesus never had to go and try to reconcile with them for fear his relationship with God might be “broken.” That misinterpretation comes from the common error of taking a verse out of context. The verse begins with the word “therefore.” The Greek has “therefore” as the second word in the sentence. That tells us that Jesus is drawing a conclusion based on what was said before. Reading verses 21 to 23 gives you that context, which makes clear what he is referring to. Jesus reminds people about the consequences of murder (which is judgment) and says those who are angry at someone have committed murder and would also be subject to judgment. Also, he introduces those who speak words of contempt (raca) to others and those tho call others fool. They will be subject to the courts and hellfire, respectively. After that, Jesus says, “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” Matthew 5:23-24 NASB
It is clear from the context that he is referring to people who have clearly hurt others (and know so) and have instead of reconciling the relationship gone to worship God while continuing to hurt their brothers by their lack of remorse, apology, and reconciliation. In the verses that follow that passage, Jesus also continues to talk similarly about different kinds of sins like adultery and divorce, which are also ways in which we hurt others.
I believe that Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:23-24 were directed at situations where a person who is about to worship comes under the conviction, perhaps by the illumination and help of the Holy Spirit, that he has injured another person. As a father, God wants such a person, when they have come to their senses, to rush, go, and make amends with their fellow brother/sister to restore the relationship with that person before coming to God to build a relationship with him. Most parents would agree that’s what they would want to happen if one of their children hurt another one, leaving them sad and emotionally wounded. That parent would prefer for their son to go and repent, reconcile the relationship, and comfort their sibling before coming to cozy up with the parent. As a parent, you are better able to connect with your child when he/she is not hurting another of your children that you also love.
