Summarize
John Ortberg’s book, The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God’s Best Version of You, which is the subject of this review, could be re-titled, “How to flourish by living in flow with the Holy Spirit’s leading.” The foundational idea of his book, Ortberg posits, is that “the only way to become the person God made you to be is to live with the Spirit of God flowing through you like a river of living water.”[1]
While being refreshingly transparent about his struggles, Ortberg practically teaches his readers how to go from their status quo to living the authentic and holistic lives God created them to live. He makes clear that only God knows people’s full potential and the gap between where they are and where they desire. That gap, he says, cannot be bridged by human effort. Just as God’s grace saves his people, his grace must also bridge this gap for them. To live in God’s grace, Ortberg believes, is to live in the flow of the Spirit.
He presents his content in seven parts that start with helping the reader find out who they are in Christ (identity). He then shows his readers how to flow with the Spirit and grow in the unique way that God created them. In the subsequent sections, he addresses how to renew the mind, redeem time, deepen relations, transform prevailing experience, embark on a life full of flow, gain victory over our darkness, and flourish with the Spirit’s leading.
So what? Why should someone care about this book? Inside the soul of every person is a battle between a “flourishing self” — the person they were created to be — and a “languishing self.”[2] This book is all about winning that battle. It shows readers to flourish by reclaiming their identity in Christ and walking in the Spirit so that they can live out their full potential. People should read this book and apply its teachings daily because the only alternative to a flourishing life of flow is a languishing one.
Respond
As I read chapter four, titled, “Find Out How You Grow,” Ortberg’s words took me back to a memorable incident in my life. He writes, “The greatest battle of life is spiritual…How often in spiritual life do we get burdened because we try to wield weapons that have helped someone else in the battle? We hear about how someone else prays, or reads Scripture to start or end their day, or worships, or studies, or serves — and we feel guilty if we don’t do the same. We get frustrated because what works for someone else is not helpful to us. We are like David, trying to walk around in Saul’s armor.”[3] This passage reminded me of a liberating impression that I had less than a year ago, which I took for the Holy Spirit speaking to me. I had been frustrated trying to balance spending prolonged periods daily in prayer as I used to do when I was a full-time missionary or as I saw many of the other leaders I admired currently doing. Then, one afternoon, I sensed this unmistakable still small voice saying, “Don’t compare how you abide in me with how others do. I have created you differently, and the circumstances I allow you to go through are also different. As a result, how you communion with me will be different.”
Since that day, I have felt the freedom to pray spontaneously, and my prayer life has gotten better. This revelation changed how I approach my primary calling and relationship with God. I felt the freedom to connect with Him at any time of the day and in any activity. I started praying between seeing patients and praying whenever a thought came to mind. I discovered that it transformed my functional calling or relationship with the patients I am called to serve and my team members at work. I became more joyful at work, served more patients, and cared for them more. The guilt from needing to pray a particular length of time vanished.
However, “the me I see now” did not continue in the fervor that resulted from that little mountain top experience. I am neither as miserable as I was before the incident, nor am I living in the flow and flourishing as God created me to live. I needed to hear God’s voice through Ortberg’s words, reminding me of how He has invited me to live and flourish. It has fanned into flames, anew, the smoldering embers of God’s primary and functional call for my life. It has left me motivated to live out my guiding purpose statements for my relationship with my wife and my relationship with my patients. Seeking to be an imitator of Christ, I am more committed to become a supportive husband. Also, seeking to be an imitator of Christ, I am more committed to being a caring physician.
Reflect
Much of what Ortberg presents was not new to me. Nevertheless, it was very transformational. He reminded me to see things in new ways and gave practical tips for walking in flow with the Spirit. For example, Ortberg gives the example of a mother of young children who is languishing and desiring to be able to spend one hour of quiet with God like her pastor does, but her children will not cooperate. “What she takes away,” Ortberg writes, “is that she ought to be doing the same thing, and so she does spirituality by comparison, living under a cloud of guilt. It never occurs to her that the love she expresses to her children might ‘count’ as a spiritual activity. It never occurs to her that perhaps she is serving God more faithfully than the very pastor who may be neglecting his wife and children in the morning so he can have that hour of quiet.”[4] Like this woman, I often forget to remember that God is at work with me as I see patients in the clinic or as I work through our foundation to help orphans and vulnerable children. Ortberg’s writing helps liberate and remind me to look for God by my side in my work. His reminder that it is right to pray with eyes open[5] and to turn our thoughts into prayer helps strengthen my primary or relational calling to God. As indicated above, out of that overflow of an improved primary relationship with God, my functional relationships at work and at home have improved. As stated above, this has inspired greater commitment to my guiding purpose statements both for my relationships at home and at work. The “me I want to see soon” is walking in this knowledge daily, content that whether I am working with patients or the poor, I am in fellowship with God as much as I do when I pray.
An aha moment I had was reading Ortberg’s interpretation of Matthew 5:38-42. This was a Bible passage that was difficult for me to reconcile with the rest of the Bible. His explanation strengthened my primary calling by removing any doubts I have about obedience to God in that area. It strengthened my relational calling be equipping me to be able to resist evil in others while honoring them at the same time. In line with this, the “Me I Want to See” is responding to difficult people with the grace and fortitude that comes from knowing that God has everything in control.
Act
This book is full of truths, insights, techniques, and resources for walking with the Holy Spirit, living in flow, and growing in favor with God and others. However, I know that the gap that exists between where one is today and where one needs to be cannot be achieved by human effort but by grace through the Holy Spirit. In light of that, in order to facilitate my Spirit-led journey towards the “me I want to be,” I intend to do the following that will advance my primary and functional purposes as well as the guiding purpose statements for my home and work life.
First, Ortberg provides two simple questions for assessing one’s spiritual life, which I intend to employ immediately. He recommends asking, “Am I growing more easily discouraged these days?” and “Am I growing more easily irritated these days?”[6] These are excellent questions that assess whether one is walking in the flow or not and do not pose the temptation of being pharisaical.
Second, I plan on finding a few people that I trust to be completely transparent with and share secrets and temptations. I already asked my wife to read this book together after my course, and she has agreed. In addition to becoming more transparent with her, I would seek other trusted men with whom to be completely transparent. As Ortberg says, people can only be loved to the extent that they are known.[7]
Third, I plan to intentionally identify ways that God gives life and vitality to me and seek out ways to build them into my life and schedule. Leading a cause, serving, studying, spiritual friendships, and scriptures are some ways He has used in the past.[8] In line with this, I plan to identify my sacred pathways. Intellectual is one of my pathways; I love to learn. Another one is “activist.”
Finally, one of my most significant areas of weakness is not entirely surrendering my will to God and relying on him. I plan to continue to yield and work to renew my mind, regularly dwelling on knowledge that makes it easier for me to surrender to God. I believe the above strategy will help meet a soul need that I have had for some time now, which I partly expressed in my introductory video in this course. That need is to secure more physical rest for my body and more spiritual rest for my soul. I believe that will come from surrendering and walking in the flow of the Spirit in the above areas.
[1] John Ortberg, The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God’s Best Version of You (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2010), 39.
[2] Ibid., 16.
[3] Ibid., 47.
[4] Ibid., 24.
[5] Ibid., 131-136.
[6] Ibid., 21.
[7] Ibid., 198.
[8] Ibid., 30.
Bibliography
Ortberg, John. The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God’s Best Version of You. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2010.
