We all know that trust is the currency for all effective relationships. But how do we build and rebuild trust?
Many researchers and philosophers have written about trust and persuasion.
- Aristotle spoke of three modes of persuasion in rhetoric: ethos, pathos, and logos. Although not frequently mentioned, persuasion is about trust. It’s about getting people to trust you and what you are saying. These modes of persuasion are central to building trust.
- Frances Frei, a Professor of Technology and Operations Management at Harvard Business School, talks of Authenticity, Logical rigor, and Empathy as the essential elements of trust. I find these to be analogous to Aristotle’s Ethos, pathos, and logos.
- Brene Brown talks of the seven elements of trust, which she represents by the acronym BRAVING.
- Simon Sinek talks about trust stemming from shared beliefs and values.
- Daniel Pink speaks of mastery, autonomy, and purpose as things that motivate us. I find that people trust more when a relationship meets these needs.
For years now, I’ve been interested in the subject of trust and cooperation because I’m passionate about developing people, and to be frank, I haven’t been good at it. Building on the work of many thinkers both historical and contemporary, and my own research and experience, I’ve found that there are seven key ways to build and rebuild trust.
To help people remember, I created a helpful acronym, BELIEFS. This acronym is particularly good because it reminds that trust is built on share beliefs.
- Beliefs, values, and purposes. Again, trust must stand on a foundation of common beliefs, values, and purpose. “Trust comes from a sense of common values and beliefs,” says author and speaker Simon Sinek. “When surrounded by people who believe what we believe, we’re more comfortable to take risks, experiment, explore.” Shared values and beliefs are an aspect of culture. Culture creates connection and community. If you want to get people of a different culture to trust you, you build culture bridges, not walls. You strengthen your shared beliefs, values, and purposes. However, common beliefs, values, and purpose are necessary but not sufficient. These beliefs have to affirm my interests, especially the interests for self-preservation. For example, in a community of thieves, crooks, and liars, a thief will trust an honest man who doesn’t share his values with his bag of gold and his children, than he will his comrades who have no problem stealing it.
- Ethos (personal character). A person of character has courage to do the right thing no matter the cost, humility, respect for others/reverence for God, integrity, secrecy, surrender to the truth, and trusting attitude towards others.
- Logic and language that is clear and convincing. “If you sense that I have real rigor in my logic, you are far more likely to trust me” says professor Frances Frei of Harvard Business school.
- Interests. We trust people who care for our interests.
- Empathy, generosity, and non-judgment.
- Freedom (autonomy). We feel safe and can trust someone more when he makes us feel that our autonomy is not threatened. We sense this when people honor our boundaries. At work, we sense this when leadership shows us that they trust us by giving us more autonomy and voice about how we do our work. Trust begets trust.
- Successful in the past. People trust us more when they are convinced we are competent in the area they need to trust us in, as shown by results and past successes. For example, we trust a surgeon with a good track record. Trust is specific, not general. Just because I trust an experienced surgeon with my heart doesn’t mean I trust him to be my pilot.
The result of doing the above seven things is that people feel safe and can trust you. Trust cannot happen when people don’t feel safe.
