Trust is the currency of every successful relationship. Marital relationships, dating relationships, work relationships, friendships, relationships between countries–every relationship you can think of depends on trust. Without trust, there is no relationship. How do you build trust?

Develop shared beliefs and values

People easily trust others–even strangers–when they know that they have the same beliefs and values. E.g. If two Americans meet in Africa while doing missions, they are more likely to trust each other more–even though they are complete strangers–than they would local people that they have known for years. That’s because trust is based on beliefs and shared values more than simply knowing someone more.

Related Article: The Anatomy of Trust, by Brene Brown.

How to Build Trust

Always tell the truth in love

For people to trust you, they must believe that you always say what you believe is the truth. You don’t have to always be right – you just have to always speak the truth in love. You must be impeccable with your word.

If you discover that you lied, quickly admit it and apologize even before anyone finds out the lie.

Keep your promises

Be consistent. This goes together with always speaking the truth in love.

Your word must be your bond. If you say you would do something, keep your word.

Show integrity

  • Keep people’s secrets when told to you.
  • Don’t gossip. Gossipping shatters trust.
  • Show loyalty. When you are loyal, people will trust you more.
  • Control your emotions. People respect people can control themselves and keep cool under fire.
  • Walk the talk.

Be accountable and transparent

People don’t like to trust leaders, especially public leaders, who are secretive and not transparent.

Communicate effectively

A lot of times, distrust and frustration build simply because people don’t communicate effectively. Poor communication can lead to misperceptions which will result in people believing things about each other that are not true.

  • With communication, more is always better. Not just more in quantity–even though that is usually good–but more in quality.
  • Express your feelings
  • Speak from the heart
  • Be open

Genuinely love people

Love covers over a multitude of sins. When you love people and sacrifice for them, they sense it and trust you with their lives because they know you’ve got their back.

Be Competent

Have a strong record of delivering great results Be very competent at what you do. Be the best in the world. You need to have the credentials.

People will trust you when you are very competent. If you are the best surgeon in the world, people will trust you to operate on their heart.

 

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